It’s the first day of Spring. How do you feel? I feel cold, damp and tired. Cold because it’s cold. Damp because it’s raining. And tired because it always takes me a while to get used to the daylight saving time change. Why can’t they just leave time alone?

In case you don’t know, the first day of spring (or autumn in the southern hemisphere) marks the March equinox when daylight and night hours are nearly equal across much of the planet.

From here on, the days get longer until the summer solstice in about 3 months. If you live beneath the equator, the days get shorter until the winter solstice. Capiche?

What any of that has to do with Facebook’s datagate scandal and the subsequent selloff in social media stocks, ex-Playboy playmate Karen McDougal itching to talk Trump or director Terry Gilliam’s ill-advised attack on the #MeToo movement’s “mob rule” (the mob skewered him for it, ironically proving his point) beats the hell out of me.

It is nevertheless comforting to know that, with all the loony shit going on in the world, there are some things you can count on never changing. Tomorrow’s another day, albeit a two-minute longer one (shorter if you’re an aussie), with another weather pattern, another news cycle and another scandal or 10 for the media to salivate over.

There was one more thing, but I’ve forgotten what it was. Wait, I remember now.

The pedestrian hit and killed by a self-driving Uber car in Arizona was actually a 49-year old homeless woman hauling a bike laden with plastic bags who apparently walked right out in front of the vehicle, and nowhere near a crosswalk. Funny how all the headlines make it sound like Uber’s fault – you don’t get the real story until like paragraph eight. Yup, some things never change.