The phone is ringing. We stopped answering it years ago. Now it just records robocalls and stuff. Why even have a home phone? Our property has a gate. The home phone controls the gate. My not-so-smart home guy has a plan to fix that — along with half a dozen[…] Read On
When I sit down to write a piece — column, blog post, whatever — I always type the same working title: WTF. I’ve been doing that for more than a decade. There it is, staring up at me right now, right above these letters I’m typing. WTF. Just thought you[…] Read On
If you really wanted to take down the greatest country in the history of the world, this is how you’d do it: React to a contagion no deadlier than the flu by locking down the entire nation, ostensibly to flatten the growth curve. Flatten the growth curve. Keep the economy[…] Read On
Now that the stock market has soared like a gazillion points and officially mocked my foolish attempts at hedging against a market collapse I’m thinking it’s safe to return to my natural pre-viral state of cynical mockery. Some people are doing some very good work to lighten the mood in[…] Read On
“The trouble with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.” Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher didn’t actually say that, but she did say that “socialist governments traditionally do make a financial mess. They always run out of other people’s money.” Close enough. And her performance[…] Read On
In contrast with today’s enormous and ever-growing sociopolitical divide, I seem to have a somewhat different, some might even say moderate (yikes!), take on recent world events than your average everyday American. There must be something seriously wrong with me. I couldn’t care less about the Royals, especially Prince Henry[…] Read On
Has it really been 20 years since the turn of the millennium and the dot-com bust? Holy crap! What the hell happened to my hair? My abs? My memory? My legendary hangover resilience? The New York Giants? At least I’m still above ground, so there is that. As I’m sure[…] Read On