It’s Mother’s Day. I did all my wife’s chores and let her sleep in this morning. Does anyone ever do my chores on Father’s Day? Nope. I still have to do pool maintenance, weed whack, fertilize the fruit trees, yada yada.
We all have pet peeves: annoying things other people do that drive us nuts. I tried looking up the most common ones online but all I got was generic click-bait. That really ticks me off. So does this …
Bureaucrats. Weak, wimpy, small-minded, self-important people who try to cover up how fragile and fearful they are by trying to control others. You know who you are.
National [Fill in the blank] day, week, month. There is a National Chocolate Custard Day, National Garden Meditation Day, National Lumpy Rug Day, National Paranormal Day, and National Raspberry Popover Day … and those are all just for May 3rd. Who comes up with this dopey stuff?
Special snowflakes. You know, all the thin-skinned, entitled cupcakes who think that everyone else has to kowtow to every freakin’ thing that offends them. Stick this in your safe space.
Positive thinking Kool-Aid drinkers who need everything to be happy and inspiring or their utopian little world will come crashing down on their rosy little heads.
Political Correctness. Arrrgh …
Left lane drivers. Read my lips: the left lane is for passing, not parking. You don’t just plop yourself in the left lane and go the speed limit. Actually, slow drivers in general. Who taught these people to drive?
Missing part of a movie. The DVR is the greatest invention of all time. Thanks TiVo.
Lousy customer service. Is it too much to ask to simply get what you paid too much for without having to jump through a million hoops? Is it? Really? I’m talking to you, Blue Shield. Best Buy. Walgreens. Radio Shack. AT&T. DirecTV (ironic that AT&T acquired them).
Google. They really are evil. They’ll sell your soul for an ad dollar.
Cats that go where they’re not supposed to. Dealing with one of those right now. That’s actually what got me on this topic. Drives me absolutely bonkers.
Big government. Onerous regulation, taxation, and legislation that limits free market growth. Don’t even get me started on socialism.
Passive aggressive behavior. Why did God have to make so many cowards who are just too wimpy to tell you to your face that they disagree with you and have it out. No. That would be too scary. They smile and say, “Sure, no worries” to your face, then turn around and do exactly the opposite. Creeps.
Big dogs don’t live long enough. If they’re going to be our best friends, shouldn’t they live past 10? Sort of cruel, don’t you think?
Everything I do seems to annoy my wife. Seriously. I ask you, can one person really be that hard to live with? And if I am, why the hell did she marry me? It must be Karma. We both must have royally screwed up in another life. That’s got to be it.
I guess that’s plenty for now. So what annoys you? Noisy neighbors? Lying politicians? Ranty blog posts?
Repeat on the Day before Father’s Day, not on Mother’s Day.
Makes the point of National X day too personal if to your wife reads this…
Which brings me to your last point.
Your wife reads this.
Nah, she doesn’t read my writing. She says she gets enough of me at home. But if she did, believe me, there’s nothing I’ve written that she would disagree with. Besides, she knows I’ve been using her as a comic foil in my writing for nearly a decade. She’s cool with that. 🙂
Whew! ?
National “XYZ” Day: I always think that it’s a bunch of bulls*t! It’s a way for businesses to make money off people that are buying into these kinds of crap! Like one Ford commercial was about a dream Mother’s day car. Ok, like we should just go and buy mom or wife a car for Mother’s day! Some moms are lucky to get a toaster from their “Special snowflakes” on their birthdays!
Left lane drivers: What’s it about the bay area or America in general that people drive moronically and slowly on left lanes? Whenever I am on the road in Europe, I constantly tell my husband to notice how left lane is for passing. It’s well understood over there. Every morning I drive into San Francisco I see tour buses, Genetech and Google buses on left lanes, wtf? The slow drivers don’t have a clue either.
Passive aggressive behavior: I talk about this ALL the time. I would much rather be dealing with a b*tch or an a**hole than to deal with a phony. At least you know what you are getting from an a**hole. I get extremely disgusted
when men are being cowards. That’s why I jumped up and down when I read your “Grow a pair” and “Quit Being Fake” articles. If you disagree with or dislike me, be a man about it and I will have no problem with it. I see these kinds of
behavior frequently also on Facebook now as well. Disgusting!
Big government: How ridiculous is it for San Francisco to ban Sodas and legalize Pot? What kind of world are we living in now we fight about bathrooms, not just at the state level but at the Federal level? I could almost see Scalia shaking his head right now (God, do I miss him and do we need him more than ever!) How ridiculous is the concept of rent control? I can’t raise the rent of the property I own because of rent control? It’s completely contrary of capitalism.
Lousy Customer Service: In addition to your list, I must add Pitney Bowes, Comcast and USPS. I am not asking them to solve differential equations for me. I only ask simple questions. Simple billing questions or their companies’ policies that they are paid to pick up the phone and answer them. It’s really too much to ask these days.
My Lists are as follow:
Pedestrians walk slowly crossing the street: It gets on my nerve how some people feel so entitled when you let them walk across the street whether they are on the crosswalk or not. Try this in London or in Hong Kong,
you will get run over within the first 2 minutes you are there. Some got the nerve to be walking and texting, walking slowly and diagonally. Think Pythagorean theorem, so much quicker to just walk straight across. 🙂 Sorry the Math geek in me can’t help it.
People walk 5 across on the sidewalk: They feel they own the side walk. They have no regard of other people sharing the sidewalk. Selfishness is our new norm. I see this happening all over the world. Not just in America.
Sick and tired of people talking about gender inequality, diversity and racial discrimination. For example, it drives me up the wall when they do a study on the low percentage of women and executives, a lot of these studies immediately blame on sexism and gender inequality (I wrote a long response to your fox news article about that). How about looking at facts and circumstances? In my response, I mentioned Jessica Mendoza now doing ESPN
Sunday baseball. It completely ruins it for me. Not because she is a woman doing a baseball game, she is simply not good, not qualified and it’s hard to listen to (I really miss Joe Morgan and Jon Miller doing the Sunday ESPN game)
At sports events, people take their time to sit at their assigned seats. Why can’t they just sit their a**es down and stop being disruptive to our people who also paid hefty prices for these games? So rude.
As I said in my tweet, I think I honestly agree with you more than you agree with yourself. My list is endless. I clearly agree with you on the other points as well. But at some point I need to get my butt in gear and back to work! If I keep writing you may think I am a psychopath. 🙂 You just single-highhandedly jacked up my morning! 🙂
One last thing, I doubt that your wife would get piss off if she read what you wrote. We Math people try to be logical. We would just logically disagree. 🙂
Add CenturyLink to the list and don’t get me started on DirecTV