After a particularly contentious executive staff meeting where the CEO sort of laid into me, my counterpart in sales decided it would be a good idea for us to grab some lunch. That was cool of him. I needed to get some stuff off my chest.
“I know you’ve only been here a few months,” he said, “but don’t let the big guy get under your skin. It just isn’t worth it.”
“Can’t help it,” I said. “How come he doesn’t bug you?”
“He used to, a lot actually,” he said. “I don’t know what it was, but maybe a year ago I just decided I didn’t give a shit anymore, and everything’s been cool since.”
“Huh. Just like that?”
“Yup. Just like that.”
That was more than 20 years ago and you know what? I still give a shit. I’m not even in the corporate world anymore, but I still can’t help myself from giving a shit. I guess giving a shit is in my DNA. Go figure.
The other day I noticed my wife was wearing a new pair of socks. They were purple with lots of colorful stars – not exactly her style. “Cool socks,” I said.
“Thanks. Want to see what they say?”
“Sure.”
She pulled up one leg of her jeans, it said, “I gave a fuck. Once.” She said they were a Christmas gift from a friend.
Guess there are two kinds of people: Those who give a shit and those who used to give a shit. I suppose I’m a little jealous of the latter. They can just let stuff roll off their backs and skip on down the road like it never happened. Sounds great; it’s just not me.
Is it better to not give a shit? On the one hand, you care, so you always give it your best. On the other hand, it’s stressful. Life is full of tradeoffs. I think it’s just good to know what kind of person you are and be cool with that.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t take any shit, at least not anymore. That ship sailed long ago. But I will always give a shit. Actually, that sounds like a good line for my tombstone: “He never took any shit, but he always gave a shit.” What do you think?
My thoughts?
I treat it like an investor. What I try to do is, with certain people I just let it go – whether they cannot change or don’t want to, or if they’re particularly obnoxious (I don’t say toxic, as toxic people are out of my life almost instantly). And by letting it go I mean I stop caring what they do entirely. They want my take? I give it with a smile.
Those who are open to change – those I try to brush off the bad and maybe reason with them later on. Try to work with them, maybe get a resolution.
I sell my time, not my soul or values.
I’m with you. I don’t take any but I do give a sh_t! I also work for myself, which minimizes the sh_t I take and maximizes my ability to kick difficult ones to the curb.
Priceless post.
I used to envy those who managed to not give a sh*t. Instead, I simply accepted that I do and always will, and decided to turn that character flaw into a positive. Sh*t became my favorite sport. I managed in sh*t. I learned to snorkel in it, and excelled in sh*t. I even ate some in order to protect a team, save a ship and salvage a mission. I became a sh*t expert. When others were in sh*t, they called me for help. Even now, I occasionally miss sh*t. I need it to perform. There is something about giving a sh*t — it can bring out the best in people.
It has been my observation that one can not separate giving a rip or caring about outcomes and winning from the other innate traits or attributes that make a successful leader. It is what drives people to excellence in whatever they do. If to live with yourself you have to stop giving a rip, then it is time to move on because you will be miserable if your caring and fighting to win is wasted on a boss who only cares about his own success and/or considers his underlings as disposable workers. Another observation is that the work place has become a very hostile environment over the span of my work career. Accordingly, to survive one has to be careful what they give a rip about. Those with the right stuff can not turn off giving a rip, but when working for a terrible boss or company, for whatever reason, change giving a rip to what the job is going to do for you. Keep giving a rip about doing an excellent job, learn as much as you can, then move on. In today’s environment, the only job security a person can have is what they know. I have had only one of what I consider to be a good boss in my career. When you find one, then giving a rip can work for the company and you, and work can be fun.
I once made a mistake with my team and said that “I didn’t care” about a problem, and later held a staff meeting and apologized to them. I corrected myself by emphasizing that although others may not care about a problem or issue, I would always care (“Give a shit” in this vernacular). I’m well paid to care, but that is not the real reason to care. We should because that is what defines a leader. Someone who “gives a shit” when others don’t or are going in a different direction and caring enough to fix something is right thing to do.
Like you, Steve, I can’t help it. It’s just in my DNA.
I’m sorry, but I used to give a shit! The Democrats have run so far left, and the Republicans have run so far right, I can’t relate to either party. I hide from political news/fake news, like I’m hiding from a rabid dog with a pork chop hanging around my neck. I’m retired now, due to health reasons. But years ago, after working for my third or fourth horribly managed company, I stopped banging my head against the wall of futility. I came to the conclusion that, if you are determined to run this company into the ground, I’m not going to stand in your way.
It’s about understanding the quantum mechanics of giving a sh*t…humans are like photons, they can operate as individuals and/or waves (groups)…and have to constantly negotiate their ‘fractional electro magnetic’ affinities.