Why aspirations and not resolutions? I don’t want to let anyone down by setting high expectations. The way I figure, if I set the bar low enough, maybe I’ll at least have a shot at some of this stuff. Come on, quit laughing; it was worth a try.

Anyway, here are my 10 aspirations for 2016:

1. Try to be less of a workaholic … less of an alcoholic, too. Only problem is I’m a “work hard, play hard” kind of guy. So if I quit doing that, what do I do? Ideas?

2. Find a way to keep Google from spying on me.

3. Figure out how to get someone who has some idea how to run a country and doesn’t lie through his teeth in the White House.

4. Get out of relationship debt. Look, I’m not what you’d call a great husband. Not even close. And I’m pretty sure there’s no one on Earth who’ll put up with me the way my wife does. I’ve tried pretending to be nice and listen but she sees right through it. There must be a trick to this relationship stuff I’m just not getting.

5. Quit responding to Twitter trolls. I don’t know what it is that gives people the impression that their opinion about what I write matters. Maybe if I just reply “Thank You :-)” they’ll get the message.

6. Try to be less of an a-hole … and remember that not everyone views my brand of insensitive irreverence as a gift.

7. Think of others once in a while. Yeah, I know that’s something good people do all the time but, like I said, I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. Just trying to be realistic here.

8. Try to fix at least some of the stuff that needs fixing around this place.

9. Remember that I’m not bionic. By some fluke of nature, I was born with the will of a rhinoceros and the body of a praying mantis. I’m always hurting myself. Today it’s the left elbow; tomorrow it’ll be my brain (New Years Day). I really should act my age. Yeah, right.

10. Get started on book #2.

Well, that’s done. Let’s see, it’s 4 pm. Hmm … must be midnight somewhere. Party time … Pop!!!

Wishing all of you a Happy New Year and a killer 2016!

Flickr image credit practicalowl