I know I said New Year’s resolutions are dumb. They are. Aspirations are different. Aspirations are a poor man’s resolutions: strictly low bar stuff. As my freakishly wise father-in-law Gary says, if you set expectations low enough, you’ll never be disappointed.

1. Try to stay on my meds. The world is just not ready for an unmedicated me.

2. Beg my sainted wife to stick around for one more year. Don’t judge me.

3. Kill more gophers and moles.

4. Get that colonoscopy. (Not to gross everyone out, I’m just way overdue)

5. Figure out how to work less, enjoy it more and make more money doing it. Uh huh.

6. Spend two or three weeks bumming around Tuscany.

7. Try to be less of an alcoholic … starting tomorrow. Or the next day. Or after that Tuscany trip. Never mind.

8. Be less obnoxious.

9. Write a bestseller.

10. Take life more seriously. Seriously.

That’s it, folks; 2016’s a wrap. Wishing ya’ll a kick-ass 2017!

Happy New Year!

Flickr image credit practicalowl (No, that’s not me)