The stock market is making you nauseous but you can’t look away.

Zombie apocalypse movies hit too close to home.

Playing hooky from work and doing whatever you want sucks.

Purell hand sanitizer is worth more than fillet mignon.

The wife is being nice to you. Too nice.

It’s quiet. Too quiet.

Donald Trump sounds humble.

Joe Biden sounds coherent.

AOC still sounds like a lunatic.

Gov’s Cuomo and Newsom are praising the President’s actions.

You’re starting to visualize people in 2-dimensional Zoom windows.

Your goal in life is to accumulate toilet paper and Kraft Mac and Cheese.

Going to the grocery store is a terrifying event.

Partying with friends is high-risk behavior.

Booze, weed and caffeine are like miracles.

Pre-crisis events seem like they happened years ago. Remember impeachment?

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”