The 80s called. They want their hair back.

Tomorrow I’m going to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned. Then I’m getting my hair cut. I’m both excited and terrified, but not for the reasons you might think.

Just one person has cut my hair for the last 20 years, and she’s in a county that’s still on lockdown. So this is someone new.

That’s why I’m terrified.

I have a very special relationship with my hair. I make it look good, it makes me look good. That’s special.

After a lifetime of professional achievement I can honestly tell you that I’m most proud of one thing: my hair. The fact that I still have it. A lot of it, apparently.

I guess that’s a guy thing.

Sideshow Bob

My hair hasn’t been cut by a pro (Kim and I did attempt a trim, sort of) in four months. I feel like I’ve gained 5 pounds. On top of my head. It’s a real drag in summer.

That’s why I’m excited. Also Kim keeps calling me Sideshow Bob. I’m not even a redhead.

What about coronavirus? I’m not the slightest bit concerned or excited about the pandemic. Mitigating transmission is not rocket science. I know what to do. The rest is out of my control. So I don’t sweat it. If I get it, I get it.

That’s called compartmentalization — a great skill to have when you have legitimate concerns about something but no control over the outcome.

Make no mistake, compartmentalization is a skill. A skill you can cultivate. You just have to be careful to use it for good, not to sweep important issues you should deal with under a rug of ambivalence or, God forbid, utopian thinking. That would be bad. Very bad.

What about the dentist? What about it? It’ll be good to see the gang — I’ve been going to the same dentist for ages — so I guess I’m excited about that. Otherwise, what can I say, I have no concerns. I hope they feel the same way. All I know is I’m coming in clean.

Look at it this way. According to the experts I listen to — the smart honest ones, not the ones who’ve become household names lately — this virus is going to be with us for a very long time. Perhaps until we reach herd immunity, which could be a long way off and a lot of infections in between.

The sooner we all make our peace with that the better. And realize that economic shutdowns make no sense under the circumstances.

How do I feel about physical distancing (why they call it “social” I have no idea) and having to wear a mask? Frankly, neither is a big deal for me. I live in the mountains. We live far apart. A lot further than six feet.

I don’t spend a lot of time in public, either, so wearing a mask is a rare adventure. I imagine I’m a kid again playing cops and robbers or something. Yes, I do have quite the active imagination. Also beneficial at times like these.

Look. It’s true that there is a lot we don’t know about Covid-19. But there is a lot we do know. The virus is sort of like life that way. I mean, seriously. Is life any different? We’re just used to living a certain way. And now, we have to learn to get used to living a different way. Godspeed.

Image credit: screen shot Lene Lovich BBC / YouTube