Well, I did it. Got the J&J booster jab yesterday … and a flu shot too. At the same time. In the same arm. Sounded like a good idea at the time. I mean, I’ve never had a reaction to a vaccine. What could possibly go wrong?

At first I had no side effects except for the usual arm soreness. Thought I was home free. Then came the nighttime.

I don’t know if it was the Covid booster, the flu shot or both (probably both), but they pretty much kicked my ass. Spent the night in and out of a state of delirium with hot and cold chills and all those flu-like aches and pains all over. And my left arm feels like it could fall off any second now.

So now I’m starting to wonder if I really need a left arm. Or a left knee. Or an L5 disc. Or all that arthritis building up in all those joints I’ve injured over the years. I mean, getting old would be awesome without all the chronic pain from everything breaking down.

After all, these are supposed to be the golden years, n’est-ce pas?

I just applied for medicare yesterday. Turns out that, even with the best supplemental medical and drug plans, I’ll be paying just a fraction of what I’ve been paying under Obamacare, and without all those astronomical deductibles and copays.

So I was pretty stoked until I realized that all that means is I get to do all the surgeries and procedures I need to hold my body together like some grotesque humanoid version of an old beater that’ll be ready for the junk heap once it’s rusted out and all the duct tape and WD40 breaks down.

Never mind all the whining, folks. I’ll feel better after these side effects wear off and I get a nice bottle of pinot noir and a good night’s sleep.

Truth is, getting old is pretty awesome if you take the time to get some perspective on what life on this planet is all about. Once you realize that the beginning and end are non-events and all that matters is the stuff in between. That all you’ve got to do is have a good time until the clock runs out.

And when it’s your time you get to sleep forever. No more pain. No more worries. No more decisions to make. Just sleep.

I don’t know about you but, personally, I find that comforting.

One more thing. If you’re even thinking about getting two vaccines at once, you just might want to think twice.

Update: 24 hours after the jabs, I’m fine. Side effects almost entirely gone. Everything’s cool.

Image credit rocor / Flickr